• grand patty, eric, and godmother kay have all come down since i last updated. we had some good times and such but i miss my dearest big brother the mostest! he's so awesome! he's studying and touring in europe this summer which will be omg , so much fun for him! yipee! :)
• tina had a graduation party. shes so happy to graduate. really brings me back to my other good years. lol
• we got in a fight while we were alone a few days ago. we sat in silence. he got up and stormed to the other side of the room. i turned music up loud. we sat there. in anger and sadness. in utter "not good enuf but ur not being good either" moods and THEN . . he grabbed me. he swung me around and close to him. he embraced me and whispered let's dance. we just danced, all alone. like cute old people do in movies about old people in love. it was the sweetest most sincere, "i dont kno what else to do but love you" moment ever!
• i saw star wars and it was amazing! i cried hysterically, i laughed hysterically, i was "hysterically having fun". . .? anyways! lol it was super de duper! than tina had a band concert and that was SO CUTE! they played pirates of the caribbean and josh came and i was like overly excited in the background about the song selections. lol
• that was the same night dad and mary broke me. crushed me. and thats not easy to recover. why is he being so weird! so un comprehendable. shes my mommy you cant treat her like that!
• i found a wallet! we were at the ice cream store and i found it. ended up to belong to this guy that is good friends with coach budnik and so he picked it up and was so happy that there are people like josh and i out there! :)
• the eigth grade graduation dance for stmarks was friday and i saw pix already and it was soooo cute!
• exmas are this week and they are soo horrible! soo insanely cruelly unusually punishing! anyways french and bio were quite stressful last night because i took them today but o well. the rest shouldnt be too bad. history tomorrow and that should be saweet if the review packet we can use during the test is helpful.
• today we got in a fight and it didn't go as well as before. but low and behold, thru all the times i felt lonely thru my trials in the second half of today he can still make me feel giddy and happy and loved so its all okay. because i love him so its gareat
• i also love BRI! she has been so good to me lately. we are really gettin close and she is such a great friend. im glad! :)
• name it, and i got it down there!
• when the result of ur trip to the pharmacy feels like christmas in may, you have too many infections!
• when it makes you leave, take care of it, and grimace three times by the time of 1025 in school . . . thats badness!

thanks for the support those who love me. because lord knows i needed it and love you more than anything!

i will now make a myspace, imma keep this. but i have surrendered!

current mood: in pain but optimistic

it has been quite a while since I have updated last. Josh is still so totally my boyfriend, we'll start with that. LOL. he makes me quite happy. BUT. I have been feeling very much alone lately, in the friendship department. I know now that I have a handfull of individuals who are willing to put themselves out there to tell me that they are there for me and that they love me but the ones I thought I could count on the most have practically spit in my face. It hurts a great deal but I feel like those handful of people can give me enough strength to get through it. Sometimes I just go to them and cry, they always make me laugh and happy again and Josh is always so great. I have had alotta work lately too. We got yearbooks and of course my picture is utterly hideous. It can and will make little babies cry out in deep terror! arg! Tomorrow is Sammy's, David's and of course My Daddy's Birthdays! Josh Tina and I went to the mall today after school and went shopping it was SOO much fun! We got momma some GREAT birthday presents (her bday is saturday) and Dadda some HILARIOUS ones. He's sure to giggle! I still need to get Sam hers but I know what I want to get her. We won't be home for mommys birthday and this makes me sad. She might work Sunfest this weekend thoughso maybe my friends and I can stop by to say hi to her. Josh might come to CFO with us.

anyways. All in All life is very good. Coral came last weekend. School grades are going fairly well (except francais. J'ai deteste mon prof! meaning i hate i hate i hate i hate i hate my god awful french teacher. lol not really just the class) and ms lewis is still utterly retarded and growing on my very last patience. but anyways, like i said life is all in all perdy darn gareat! I try to keep a smile but find myself getting more and more sad about different things and less and less confident in myself. I get to hang out with some amazing people this weekend, specially josh, and this should be a booster!

PS. JOSH GOT ACCEPTED TO THE POLO ASSOCIATION, or sumn. Its a really really really great thing cuz that means hes good enough to like play for clubs and with pros and stuff! yipee im so proud of my sexy handsome polo beast! haha

this update is detecated to bre curry, no matter when the last time i talked to her was, she always cares, always smiles, and always loves me! I LOVE YOU GIRL<3

current mood: we wont go thur

o whooteywhootwhoo yesterday was grand! lol. JK. I woke up, sunned, packed and left for my mommas! I got to see my minime and Momma and get my Paris presents and then of course hear all about their wonderful trip. Then there was the church Easter Egg Hunt and that was okay I guess cept no work practically but whatever. A little later after that Beth, Char, Connie and I saw GUESS WHO! I liked it alot and thought it was very funny but Char was weird the whole time and it made me wana cry! but watever. This morning I had to wake up early but I put on my old confirmation dress, a pink bracelet, and earings TT got me from Paris and that was koolio! I looked very pretty so I was told but I think I was pink-a-fied. After church I hung out, talked to Josh on the phone, ate, sunned and then we went over to Kim, Pauls daughter in law's for dinner. That was okay I guess, her family is fun and actually pretty accepting and there was this one older rocker kid Matthew, him and I got along grandly so that was perdy saweet I sapose. He was kool, lived in Ohio. Came home, chilled, watched My Big Fat Greek Wedding and now I am waiting for Josh to call me back after his movie he's watching with his friends :( i think im falling asleep tho. lol

HAPPY EASTER EVERYBODY! this is a happy easter from me to you!

So it's been a while. I just get so busy doing nothing. So carried away in my pointlessness of fun. I'm beginning to think that is definitely an ALRITY thing to do! :) So last Thursday went to dinner at Dada's house and that was about the gist of it all. Last Friday I went out to dinner with Joshua and his dad. Mr Decker is sooooooooo funny! omigosh! lol! Then Josh and I saw Hitch. It was real funny and I actually got to sit right next to Cory. Got to see the gorgeous Hillary as well, what a sexydoll! ;) love ya girlie! Saturday during the day Jeff and I went to the mall right quik and than in the evening, MrsRegan, Jeff, Josh, and I went out to dinner and then to Coral's house. It was a surprise anniversary party for Tammy and Reid and boy were they surprised! It was a really nice party. Ron was there too so that was cool but also kinda really odd.lol. Sunday I went to church and Brett came! It was so awesome, I miss him and Kenny because I haven't hung with them in quite a while. After church was Josh and I's Valentine's day! It was soo awesome! We watched some movie in his lil movie theatre thing and just hung out alone together. Twas awesome. Than Francia, MrDecker and us two went to my house. The Mcmans, Powers, Paul and some relatives, Rachel, Mrs Ahern, and of course GRANDMAKNOX! It was actually a fun time. Lasagna and funnyness! We watched our Nutcracker  tape and that was mighty funny/ cool/ emotional and stuff. 

YESTERDAY WAS VALENTINE'S DAY!!!! Josh made it the best Vday like EVER! After school him and I went to Dennys and I gave him the presents  that I got for him and he loved em. Than he went to the bathroom and came back and gave me this white heartbox with candy kisses in it and a note. Than turned around and nailed me with a kiss. As he kissed me he had this rubyheart necklace in his mouth! OMG! then He's like "well what am i gona do with these" and held up these earings and then finally itched his face and had a matching ring too! He's so romantic! After that we went to a girls polo match. It was real cool. Than to Publix than home
TODAY WAS JOSH's BIRTHDAY! I woke up late and got ready on time, beat that. In homeroom I set up a brownie and unlit candle and Bri Brenna and I sang to him. Twas very cute. just now Joey said "omg those brownies were so awesome, i found out they had chocolatechips in them and it was like ORGASM!" Hah i love him! Then around 7 er so we went to the CheeseCakeFactory and had dinner. It was deliscious! I GOT JOSH THE TICKETS TO TASTE OF CHAOS! It was so cute to see Josh's face as he opened his cologne (burberry brit), lighter, new oklees (spelling), and tickets. He was so happy today, it was so sexy. Happiness really is attractive! It was definitely an awesome evening! HAPPY SWEET SIXTEEN TO MY SEXY BOYFRIEND! J'adore Josh. Il est tres beau! Mon petit chou est tres magnifique and je lui adore beaucoup! Je le pense une journee and une soiree chaque jour! <3<3<3 AuRevoir!

we are picking out our classes this week. Im in HonorsPreCalc, HonorsChemistry, APEnglishIII and Band. Other than that I duno if Imma take french another year because I'd be in french four and i dont even like french that much anymore. duno<3 ciao tho

current mood: ecstatic

Tina said Orgy today and mom pulled the car over. it was hilarious!

So Yesterday was the pancake dinner after school. It was tons of fun getting to see everyone early in the week rather than just sunday. Charles dyed his hair midnight black. It looks good but i loved his hair before. Hes still ravishing as ever. It was Mama Wagner's bday and so we made her a pancake and put a candle in it and sang to her. Today was Ash Wednessday and so we gots ashes on our foreheads. It was kool. We also had the bishop for mass which was also cool except it put bakc our lunch 30 mins so i was starving. had this cheese calzone thing in lunch today, Julia and I both bought it. It was large and really yummy, haven't eaten that much in a long while. After school Chris drove Josh and I to my house and we did some homework before goin to see TT's last game she'd be cheering at. They beat Benjamin for their last game of this year and tina's last ever and it was great! Afterwards Momma, TT, Josh, and I went to McDonald's and Wendy's (we couldnt decide) and then home to watch Gilmore Girls. Maranatha had a bonfire today and Josh came with me. We made Smores and watched Jen sing while Sean, Seth, and Eddison did an "interpretive dance". Twas a very funny incident. s Plus I just always have fun with him no matter what. We came home and watched Alias and Josh's dad picked him up. it was an awesome day in deed.

Jose was sick today and yesterday and I miss him alot. Mrs O pissed me off so much today. I am a loser and promise I really will have pix on here soon. LOTS OF PIX. like from twin day all the way up till now, eventually. thats a promise! ;) cuz i kno how much u all love my friends sexyness! lol<3 

She said sumn to her that her shuldnt hear and her and i are mest cuza the she that i LOVE ANYWAYS! lol

current mood: flirty

So its been a while. Tuesday- i duno member. Wed- maranatha and that was cool. Seth as a sweet new girlfriend. They seem like two that will go well together. Thursday was Josh and I's two monther and he is the best boyfriend ever, im telling ya! He brought me a bear with a honeypot and a bee. he wrote me an amazing letter and then he surprised me at dinner with my dad. My dad and him plotted against me and everyone (including gma and gpaMac) knew cept TT and I. It was so great to see him walk up with two pink roses. One was in the shape of a heart. I don't care how much work I had to do or how my stmoach hurt or anything, I had a smile on the entire night. He made our anniversary special and fun just like he promised. Friday we had a half day, I had two tests that I don't think I did good on and then we all went to Josh's house. Joey, Jeff, Bree, Ash, Court, Jose, Josh and I all hung out and ate pizza. Than we watched Red Dragon and Dad picked Joey Josh and I up and we went to Publix where we had lots of giggles. Than Josh ate dindin with us and the famerly and him and I went and saw Boogeyman. It wasn't too scarey with my boo there. We saw tons of people and it was a fun night (" think of me, think of me fonly . . . . . " teehee) Saturday I went to this thing called Paint Your Heart Out. It was with Newman and StMarks and we just wanted this poor lady's yard. Her bf was really rude but whatever. Becky, Greg Cummings, Drew Sisko, and I were the bestest painters there! Aside from a lil paint accident that I had that involved me, a ladder, and tons of paint in my hair, we did an awesome job. We spent the whole day on one side, even after becky and drew left and went else where Cummings and I stayed at it. it was definitely cool to be surprised with him there and get to hang out. He even got me up on the roof and we painted and than just chilled while J.Russo was on our escape ladder. We had a nice long conversation and Then we all went to Duffy's afterwards. I came home, showered with great determination to get the paint out and then the church Mardi Gras party happened. Jose was there for a bit, Coral, Jeff, Char and Beth, and of course Josh. It turned out to be a lot more fun than I thought. Sunday Jose and Josh came to church. THen came with us and the family to breakfast. Then was a bit of a dramtic incident. some crying, some comforting by the greatest people in the world, some stress. and then Jose drove me to the SuperBowl Party. I didnt really care bout the game and was a lil outta it. But Kallie, her friend, Connie, her friend Jose Josh Chris and I managed to have some fun I do say so.

Today at school was just horrible. I came home, realized I forgot to give papers to the office for my mom and just broke down. My mom and I just layed on my bed and talked and cried and giggled eventually and it was really great. She really understood me tonight and It meant alot. I found out that her and I are surprisingly, and slightly frighteningly, similar in many more ways than one. I think I could live with that. LOL. So yea I have some of the greatest friends in the world and even if sometimes some slip up, I kno that I can always rely on some of them to pull me thru whatever. That made me really happy today. Jeff has been so great to me. I miss Coral, she means alot to me. and I'm glad that I have a boyfriend that is as great as Josh. - tom is pancake supper and wed is bonfire at maranatha, the week should prove to be better as it goes on, not worse. *knock on wood*

you kno you dont kno what your missing. you dont kno what ur loosing. youll miss it someday, but dont worry what ur loosing is so great, itll let you take it back.you shuld hope.

CRAP DONT READ!

So yesterday was fun. I got all showered and my sis dressed me in Abercrombie and my rocker belt and I drove to Jose's hood. It was fun to just get to hang out with him and Josh and Jose's cuban family. I ate some amazing cuban cuisine and I really had an awesome time! Jose is soo fun and I'm sooooo unbelievably glad that he loves me and that he's my buddy! *bigsmile*  Josh and I got in a "thing" last night. I found some stuff out and like I duno it was just hurtful. But I'm growing to be tall enough to jump over the situation entirely. He means well and I know he loves me and I know that he's sorry. It was just a bump on the road of our relationship that I kinda faceplanted on, maybe due to some tripping.lol! anyways! this morning I went to church and Charlie came! Most of my friends brighten me up when I see them but there are just a handful of special few that really make me completely blissful. The McManuses are part of that handful. Charlie is such and amazing man! He's so fun, so happy, so chill, so TOTALLY AWESOME! Him and I definitely Do Not get to spend enough time together and it was good to get to talk to him a bit. He said he'd try to come to youth group more often, not tonight because he has essays to do, but more often at least. He told me about Death Cab For Cutie's new cd and that I needed it, so after church we ate at CPK, the family, and I went and purchased it. It will be a bit of Charlie McManus that will play in my stereo whenever he just can't be there. He might be working himeself to much, but he said he has time for fun in his life so I guess that works out. He said he'd come to dance with me on Tuesdays if he can ever get off work. I just miss our talks really, and Beth, I miss seeing Beth all the time. Maybe when I get my liscense I'll pick her up from school sometimes and we'll get Maria's Italien Ice like the good ole days with the Schwartz/McManus crew. I miss those good ole days I really do. ANYWAYS. after church Dad,IronMan, and I went across the street and played racket ball. Jose and Josh came later on and all four of us played. Jose and Dad got in a wicked game and I loved the way they all got along and it was definitely a fun time. I know and am loved by some amazing people, thats for sure. The parents meeting for Costa Rica is at six and Jose AND Josh are coming to yg tonight.cant wait

I always figured I'd be the one to say I'm sorry I always assumed I'd be the one to mess up and to hurt you I didn't expect you to be the one to mess up I didnt expect to be on the hurting end I was at a loss for words, not knowing what to think too shocked to even look you in the eye but when I did, I saw sadness I knew hurting me , hurt you. I understand I take your hand and we'll get through it, with eachother

current mood: calm